Hang Up The Phone and Drive!

“Hang Up Your Phone and Drive!” Similar words have crossed my mind a time or two… like when some mindless twit cuts me off in his  $100 salvage-yard tin-can while talking on a $400 Droid.  I’ve even thought, “Sell Your Phone and Buy Some Driving Lessons!”  However it’s never crossed my mind to print those instructions on an 8×10 sheet of recycled paper and tape it to my window… until I saw this sign…

Like a prize in the bottom of a Cracker Jack box there it was, a boldly printed “RULE” pasted on the hatchback window of a compact Subaru.  Okay, maybe not like a prize in a  Cracker Jack box and more like a piece of bathroom tissue stuck to the bottom of your shoe…. there it was, an interesting if a bit annoying distraction to an otherwise normal drive through the city.  (I can hear you saying, “Hey JP, great correction on the Cracker Jack analogy.”)

Dont get me wrong, rules are very handy and they do have a place like, “don’t put your lips on the soft serve ice cream dispenser spout at Golden Corral.”  Most likely that rule is found in the manual that included, “don’t sneeze below the sneeze guard.”

At some level I’m a rule lover.  There are signs with rules written on them that I adore.  One example is those printed messages in the men’s bathrooms at restaurants that proclaim, “Employees Must Wash Their Hands Before Returning to Work.”  In my humble opinion, that’s a great sign!  I get warm fuzzies thinking about the manager who concerns himself with the one who will handle those precious chicken nuggets.  I envision an employee on his first day as he joins the management team in the men’s room.  With great pride General Manager, lets say Bob, proclaims in a very authoritative voice, “In the event a customer is with you in the little boys room, here’s the proper way to display your hand-washing skills.”

So what’s the big deal about the RULE posted on the Subaru, “Hang Up Your Phone Down and Drive!”?  As soon as I saw the RULE my overwhelming desire was to break it!   For just a moment panic set in as I tried to think of someone to call.  Should I call my wife?  “Hey honey, I don’t really want to talk to you,  I’m just breaking Mr. Subaru’s rule about driving while talking on the phone.”  Better yet, I should call Mr. Subaru… “He buddy, nice sign… I can’t talk long because of course, I need to hang up the phone and drive… but thanks for the quality signage and the work you’re doing to make life more interesting… not to mention the great entertainment you’re providing free of charge.!”

Not a bad idea except for the fact I was afraid to wave him down and ask him to lower his window.  Just imagine the sign he’d have to create in order to keep that from happening again!  Even if he did give me his number, would he answer his cell phone?   I could have fired him a text but that’s illegal in our state… those darn rules!

Okay mister, you win!  I won’t pick up my phone and talk on it… I’ll pick up my phone and take a few snapshots of the back of your Subaru, that’s what I’ll do!  And away I went on this new quest.  Suddenly I had a mission in life a challenge worth rising to.

With all the grace of a wild horse loosed onto a crowded freeway I made it my goal to get a close-up photo of the custom printed law.  You’ve already seen the sign but you probably don’t yet appreciate the work required to get that shot.  I’ve taken photos of wild animals that were easier to get.   First attempt,  I was in the wrong lane, too many cars between me and the object of my affection.  Next shot, Mr Subaru was driving a bit to fast for me to catch him.  And so it went until finally, steering wheel in one hand and phone camera in the other…

There was a certain irony in my determination to get a clear photo of Mr. Subaru’s rule.  While
obeying “the letter” of the rule, the intent of Officer Subaru’s public edict was being broken.  Maybe that shouldn’t make me smile? (I’m smiling again)

This may sound boring but I’m generally a rule keeper not a rule breaker.  Respecting authority is high on my list.  Honoring the laws that keep order and protect civilization comfort me.  God’s laws are actually my favorite laws but here’s my beef.  Self appointed judges nauseate me.  Those who paste rules to their lives expecting the rest of us to “tow the line” give rules a bad rap.

Perhaps you’ve found yourself in the awkward predicament of knowing you just broke someone “secret” rule.  Rules are great until they are someones personal agenda shoved down everyone else’s throat.  Rules can free us and rules can also become tools used by others to control us.  Manipulation via rules is the reason most people are nauseated by pushy judgmental types.

Yes I’m guilty too.  No doubt I’ve imposed my rules on others expecting them to live life my way.  Perhaps I’ve even failed to give others the dignity of making their own mistakes.

Here are a couple questions I’m grappling with.  Is it better to honor the fundamental principles by which rules are formulated rather than rules themselves?  Additionally, what are the fundamental principles that make a rule worthy of obedience?

Thanks for listening, I feel better now!  And please excuse me while I stop typing, put down my phone and drive.